things are crazy

omg things have been really crazy around here lol dr appointments then auroras surgery on her ears to put tubes into them and to get her adnoids taken out her going through a stage of pressing her boundries of what happends if she doesnt listen uhg me being stressed oh and ive completely given up on having another kid gotta get attention for that to even be possible i finally talked to nate about it yesterday after the night b4 i had enough and finally being sooo stressed out i just started breaking down crying freaking out i mean i just snapped and in snapping i just started crying and it took me flipping about an hr to finally calm down but i told nate that he needs to pick one day once a week to stay home for family were he doesnt leave at all during the day is for aurora and at night is for me but because of his pool league we worked it out to were he stays home one whole day every 2 weeks at least till pool league ends then it will go to 1 day a week but i told him that right now i believe auroras acting out because for the longest time she had daddy home for at least one whole day a week (usually 2 days a week) then all of a sudden hes never home and when he is he sleeps and we get pushed to the side that auroras lucky when she gets daddy 2 spend time with her once a month and he already figured out our sitch so hopefully he holds to it because i dont care if hes bored that one day is for the family and he can just deal its bad when im married and i feel like a single parent i love aurora but shes got 2 parents so 2 parents need to be there for her

wow alots happening

ok well obviously our internets workin it actually worked all the way up to the day we payed it it got shut off just b4 we went to pay it lol go fig. ive been waiting for von to call but he hasnt i hope everything is fine normally hed call at least once a week to practically everyday and we havent gotten a call for a while now hopefully he calls today or tomarrow. well i had a dr appointment on the 22nd of this month it was an ultrasound everythings all clear yay well except 1 little feasion i hope i said it right lol but she said it was nothing to even worry about that everything looks clear yay im so happy. well on the 23rd aurora had a dr appointment to get her ears cleaned well they realized that theres fluid behind the ear drums so shes got a preop appointment on the 28th of this month then she has her sergery to instal the tubes in her ears on the 4th of oct wont know what time till thurs when they call me with it so when i find out the time ill be posting it. but they said she wont miss any school inless a complication comes up but they dont forsee one coming up shes also got a hearing test on the 30th of sept theyll prob want to set up another hearing test for afterward then she also has a post opp appointment on the 11th of oct to make sure everything is working. well anyways ill post more later im gonna get off of here for now

what a wonderful month so far

of course on my bday aurora was sick oh well, then im sick can barely breath sometimes couching runny nose or stuffy and cant take cold meds cuz oh look either im allergic to them or they make me feel really drugged up neither of which is good expecially with me needing to take care of aurora so im stuck with cough drops my inhaler and as of about the 8th a nebulizer to help me fight this aurora started school on the 7th also on about the 8th our car flippin caught on fire while we were headin into anch lucky for us nigel was able to come help us go fig then ive had to go pick veggies which was kinda fun just not while im sick lol i just had to reschedual my ultrasound till the 22nd instead of the 14th of this month our internets about to go off tomarrow in fact inless we can pay it even though when i went in earlier this month they told me that we had till oct 2nd to pay it uhg which ment that with nates paycheck from the fair it coulda been paid off uhg but now nooo oh well shit happends its just this month has just been wonderful ya right anyways ill write more on here when i can which will b when nates check finally comes in from the fair

new books

yay im so excited i got 8 new books today well at least new to me lol. i got 2 new books from harlequin and those are new lol. and 6 new books from my sis friend well these are the ones that are new to me lol. im so excited about it i just got the 6 books from her of the black dagger brotherhood series now i just need to come up with the other 2 books and it will b complete at least for now lol. i cant wait till i get the books from my sis that shes sending im so excited lol. anyways kaila sence i know u read my blogs here and there sorry havent posted any lately but ya the website for the harlequin books is www.tellharlequin.com
and the site for ur kids to get free books once a month is www.imaginationlibrary.com hope these will work for u the harlequin ones for u to get free books occationally alls u have to do is participate in serveys and when they send u the books u get to keep them the other one is just for ur kids and i believe each kid gets a book lol well i figured id make sure u got them both love u sis. omg and also yesterday really sucked our car broke well at least the tie rod ends on the driver side broke snapped from the wheel we found out exactly what was wrong today then we also found out that the other side was going so we had to get both sides fixed we owe 400 dollars now to the person who helped us omg it sucked bad but its fixed our cars working again and it coulda been worse wecoulda been on the highway got in a car accident with another car or in the ditch or a number of things luckily we werent and no one got hurt thank god so its been an eventful 2 days. well im gonna go now bye for now

omg

omg ive been having sharp pains in my breasts uhg it sucks idk y ive been having the pains but i have been its not constanly its just here and there anyways im not prego kaila its just been some minor pain here and there. i have a doctor appointment on august 10th maybe ill find out whats going on then.

just thinkin

well im sitting here thinkin about what im gonna get for the next kid for a bed for both my kids idk y i started thinkin about that one option idk if i want to try to fit a twin and a crib in a small bedroom maybe what me and nate could do instead is get a bunk bed if its 2 girls have one set up as princesses and the other one tinkerbell if its aurora and a boy and we still have to b in a 2 bedroom till she turns 8 hopefully not maybe doin the bunk bed with princesses and tinkerbell for aurora and sports and like bob the builder or wrestlin or somethin ill figure it out cuz at this point well either have to buy a brand new crib or a brand new bunkbed i vote for the bunk bed lolits easier in the long run anyways im not prego kaila just started thinkin about it thats all and dont worry ull b one of the first people i tell it goes nate and aurora you then von and demo tina and nigel then everyone else lol well of course nate will prob tell people also lol anyways it was just on my mind tonight and again idk y but figured id jot it down dont have to figure it out till im actually prego so that helps lol

grrr flippin men

oh ya i was just talkin to nate about how he leaves me with 90% of the flippin house work and his reply dont u know its in ur job description ur the homemaker what the fuck ever i do his flippin laundry i clean up his flippin trash he leaves his flippin clothes everywere oh and ive been tryin to feed him more at home grrr on top of bein stuck at home flippin 90% of the fuckin month as well as trying to take care of aurora constantly the only time i usually ever get away from aurora is on my 2 sundays a month thats about it grrrrrr. men just dont know what the hell to say i was just talkin to him about it to try to work out maybe him helping a lil more wasnt wanting him to take half of the work but he sleeps till flippin 2pm-3pm sits watches tv or plays on his game he doesnt help with aurora very much any more or play very much with her very much anymore he just doesnt seem to care how i feel any more. hes been putting off finishing cleanin the bathroom for flippin 2-3 days now uhg ive managed to get a dent done in the laundry livingroom clean hall closet cleaned and organized i just need to vacuum sweep and mop clean mine and nates room and clean the kitchen and do dishes while takin care of aurora and i got a box ready to b gotten rid of i plan on hopefully havin more what does he do he goes to work for 4 flippin days a week and the other 3 days he either slips out to go to the bar or he stays home and doesnt do anything grrrr i would like a lil bit of his help even aurora helps me more than he does she keeps her room clean she helps pick up the laundry and gets it to the laundry room shell get any dishes and puts them into the kitchen she also helps pick up any trash uhg its sad when my 4 year old does more than daddy at the house anyways im done venting now im goin back to cleanin but im not talkin to him today he can kiss my flippin ass

busy day

well today im cleanin the livingroom kitchen halls and mine and nates room nates gonna finish the bathroom oh ya and im gonna b starting on laundry lol so it is a very busy day then im gonna have to run nate to work come back finish up what i can drop aurora off with tina for the night at 5pm then get ready and leave to go out tonight oh ya so much fun then i get to get up in the mornin for aurora finish cleanin if im not done and then keep it clean till they do the inspection they havent put up a notice yet which means that i have till at least tues to get it done at latest thurs depending on when they say their doing the inspection if it wasnt for the maintanance man i wouldnt know till the day b4 they do it uhg anyways im getting off of here for now might b back on later just doing a quick note

whats on my mind right now

i really really want some more books lol i want to complete my nora roberts collection even the jd robb books i also want to complete my vc andrews collection and other collection of series that i would love to finish getting just so i can either a keep them after i read them b read them then send them to my sister in law c read them and turn them in to fireside books for credit d give them to friends it depends on what books they are how much i like them and who has what books already a mixture of different vareables anyways i love collecting books alot its one of my favorite things to do cuz u can get a book read it on ur free time while u wait for an appointment share with ur family let friends barrow and read i mean books are great in my mine i just wish i could have the collection type thing my sister in law has lol over 400 books about lol anyways kaila ur the only friend on my blog anyways lol. but u know how u said u were trying to get rid of books see if u have any book stores that will give u credit for some of ur books there usually used book stores used or new and they will usually take books and give u credit for them just a suggestion

today

well todays been kinda slow got aurora back omg i missed her even though she was just right down stairs i really missed her i started missing her on our anniversary but i was able to get through it and then yesterday i really really missed her it took everything to not go down and get her yesterday but we started doing something and was keeping busy everything was alright after that i made it for 3 days without my child yay i dont want to do that again anytime soon lol. aurora really really missed mommy and daddy omg she hasnt wanted to let me outa her sight all day i finally got her into bed about 30 mins ago around 915 my time on these blogs its all an hour ahead of me. when she saw me on the last day she had to stay the night with tina she says mommy i want to come home and when i told her she was comeing home today she told me but mommy this isnt my home my homes with u :( anyways she came up this mornin and woke me up and just cuddled and gave me hugs and kisses and told me im not allowed to leave her for that long again lol anyways im gonna go to bed now auroras in bed ill check on her and then im goin to sleep

yesterday

well yesterday after nate got sleep we went back out to the bar played some wii lol bowling on wii to b exact it was fun then after that we played pool for the rest of the night we had fun though i lost several times but i still had alot of fun. it sucks that i might not get my sunday though nate found out that he has to work hes going to find out when its suppost to get done about and when that would make him off from work to find out if ill still b able to go for a lil bit if its not even worth it then me and tina are going to try to figure out a day that aurora can stay the night for me and nate to go out again together for one more day cuz as it sits right now i had her kids for technically 4 days and shes only had aurora for 3 so were so were going to try to figure it all out after nate lets me know whats going on lol.

anniversary

omg mine and nates anniversary may have started off bad but when he came home he said he was sorry and that i was right no matter what those words should never have come out and he said he loved me and then we went and got a hotel room for the night then after we got the room we went and got burger king food which i was craving brought it back to the room ate had some fun then watched tv some then had some more fun then we went out to the bar no drinking just playedpool and drank soda got back to the hotel room by like 3am about after playing pool and picking up some taco bell lol got back ate then had a shower some more fun and went to sleep only got at most 2 hours of sleep though cuz we had to leave by 7am cuz nates number got called again for jury duty lol but we had fun lol and it was nice. i got sleep when i got home lol and after nate got home he finally got sleep the poor guy lol hes still asleep as i write this idk when im goin to wake him up but im gonna try maybe in an hour that way we can go ahead and have fun some more lol well ill write more later

same day of the really fed up day

ok well ive calmed down now im still mad at nate but im calmed down now and ill see what happens from here on out maybe he can still make it a decent anniversary danm it sucks though something bad has happend on all 3 of our anniversarys grrrr its frusterateing as all hell. oh well weve made the other 2 into decent anniversarys considering our first anniversary we made lobster tales or nate tried anyways it ended up being us cooking together but my mom brought back aurora early the next mornin and didnt have any money or vehichle to do anything we also got into a fight that one, then our second anniversary we dropped aurora off with my mom we went to do errands while were out we get a call that our daughter got bit by my moms dog (i really hate that dog sence then) and she waits for 45 mins b4 even fucking calling us so we had a trip to the hospital just to b safe then dropped her off with pam nates mom to stay the night and we had fuckin horrible chinese food but we still enjoyed spending time together and now that i think of it im glad she got to stay the night with nates mom cuz a couple months later she passed away (r.i.p. pam we love u) and now this insident today uhg hopefully next years will b insident free and if my hubby comes back big if hopefully we can turn this into a decent anniversary

what a way to start my anniversary

well when i told my hubby happy anniversary he popped off well anniversaries are just like any other made up holiday its just for the women which of course in my mind if he loves me and loves being married to me wouldnt that make our anniversary something he looks foward to so finally he sees im upset wow took him awhile and he asks whats wrong with u so i told him what he said and he says i ont remember saying that i musta been asleep grrr what ever its not something that shoulda came outa his mouth whether he was awake or asleep and yes i told him that and i told him he pretty much ruined our anniversary and he goes i dont even know what ur talkin about omg like that makes it any better he acts like im the one at fault what the hell grrrrrrrrrr anyways someone he works with calls needing a ride to their meeting today from either him or nigel so i tell him hell have room in the car cuz im not goin with him so he gets more pissy with me the fuckin asshole screw him i love him but i realllllyyyy dont like him right now he was in the wrong not me and y would i go with someone who hurt me today grrrrrrrrrr.

later

well its now 324 our time from the first day without aurora we just got home and heres what we did, we started off with it being a really warm day at least 76 degrees prob more we decided to go to 3 bears and get something for dinner then we went driving around for a lil bit then we went to a garage sale i guess u could call it they pritty much had alot of junk saw a copenhaggen chew can that they were trying to sell for 25 cents also saw a half a bottle of wood glue they were also trying to sell some clothes that looked like shit, also saw the most retarded video camera that they wanted 50 bucks for that to charge it it had clips to charge it from a battery for like a car or as she put it u could also use it to attach to ur tv like that would ever happen lol, but we did find a couple things that we bought one was one of those old horse things on a stick and it had the wooden stick its a fixer upper but when i get done its gonna look like new lol, also found a really pretty dress, and a mic spent only 11 dollars for all 3 but it wasnt bad the mic was worth about at least 100 dollars so 11 bucks for all 3 was a great price lol. then we went driving around some more, then we went to the bar for a lil bit after we got done there we went driving around for a lil bit again got a hotel room set up for tomarrow which is great wont b able to see a movie now but thats ok nate will finally get to see what an ac conditioner is for the first time lol, after that we came home and cuddled for a lil bit then went back to the bar came home and then went to the post office then went for a walk around the block now were home well im gonna go 2 bed now we have a big day tomarrow night

first day

ok this is the first day without my daughter for my 3 days in a row anniversary celebration thing i just brought her to her aunt idk how im gonna feel about this this will b the longest ive gone without my daughter and i have seperation anxiety so well see if i can make it the full 3 days without going crazy lol. of course ill keep posting how im doing off and on if nate my husband can keep me busy i should b ok but if not im prob goin to get emotional well this is just the next step for me on my trying to heal. i know that ive been able to let her go for a night now which is better than when i started i can even let her go to headstart preschool for about 4 hours a day from tues-fri as long as i stay busy but i have never let her go for 3 days. 3 full days omg i might become crazy lol, nates asleep right now soo he wont b able to keep me busy so till i can get him up ill try to keep myself busy from going insane lol. tomarrows mine and nates actual anniversary but we are able to have her stay with someone for 3 days ill get her back thurs omg that seems like forever from now lol. and then after i get her back thurs shes gonna b staying the night with her aunt again sun thank goodness this is only for once a year at most cuz ya this would prob drive me crazy if it wasnt. ok im gonna get off of here b4 i keep going on and on about it sorry i just needed to get this off my mind the once. well of course ill keep writing to let at least myself know later how i did lol.

never mind

never mind i have figured out the template thing ok not frusterated anymore yay i think im done for tonight so night

ok im lost

ok i need help cuz umm i dont know how to change the background for my blog the template i think its called grrr its frusterating

my thoughts at the moment

well im not sure how this is gonna work for me im but well see anyways im just starting this this is the first blog im doing on an actual blogging site, oh no what has the world come to im actually blogging lol. anyways just a lil info on myself i have a wonderful family i love my husband and my daughter. im a stay at home mom and were hoping that well be able to have at least one more child cuz of a medical condition we might not be able to oh well if its ment to be the lord will let us anyways im done now ill write more later maybe